Five hour energy in apparel form

Are you tired of waking up still asleep? Do you curse the inventor of the alarm clock every morning? If only there were a way to wake up refreshed, to start the day with a spring in your step. But how? Energy drinks contain harsh chemicals that could make you sterile. Coffee will force you to blurt out inappropriate things at work time meetings causing you to get fired (no one likes the inappropriate jittery guy). The solution is simple put on this t-shirt and feel like your fifteen again unless you are in fact fifteen, but if you are fifteen and in need of an energy burst already you must be on drugs. In that case stop using meth and buy the shirt anyway.